Hi there, I’m single pringle Hannah and I seem to have been scrolling through dating apps for years now with very little success. Around a month ago I decided to once and for all delete the dating apps I’ve always relied on from my phone, and I feel so much better for it!
So, a little background. Im 24, have never been in a ‘real’ relationship and used to be a hopeless romantic. I always thought I was the least desirable out of my friends and my self-confidence has always been extremely low, meaning I didn’t have the kind of character or confidence to approach guys & keep them interested.
I had a couple of near-starts before I moved away for uni, which all fell apart pretty quickly. University was an interesting time for me due to being inseparable from my then male best friend & housemate (I know right, looking back it was a uni nightmare haha) and other than a few dates thanks to my trusty dating apps here and there, nothing much happened.
Fast forward almost 3 years and I have even more failed dates that I can share with you, as well as a couple of successful ones (we’ll get onto all this in another post!) to add to my list. So no, I am still not skipping down the road hand-in-hand with a gorgeous man (is this #dreams or #vom?!) but over the last few years I have gained something even more invaluable.
I’ve always been under the impression that you are not complete without a man. It’s something that I have thought about a lot since I was a teenager and I just couldn’t shake this mentality. In 2017 I made the decision to focus on myself, I actually described it to people as ‘a year to learn to love myself’ (now that one is #vom, soz!). Yes it may sound silly, but if you’re someone like me it is such an important venture. I started to focus on the good bits about myself, and just gave myself some more leniency with anything I needed. I took the whole year off dating, although of course I still swiped on the apps like it was a little game.
My 2017 resolution worked and I came into 2018 feeling much better in myself, and moving to London elevated that even more than I could have imagined. I have never been so content with myself and cared less about what other people think, however I still found myself spending evenings searching for someone. For me, I just couldn’t accept myself without someone stood beside me.
Hilariously, my epiphany came just as I started to kind-of-see-someone for the first time in years, but it was still extremely important. Since I moved to London I have spent as much time with friends as possible, I know that I don’t need a guy in my life when I am around them and that is when I am the most content. But, one sunny Saturday after a day with 2 of my best friends, honorary nephew and the cutest little dog it just kind of hit me. I suddenly realised that my friends were actually right and this thing that was ‘missing’ just wasn’t at all. I walked away from that day and the feeling stuck with me. I started spending less and less times on the dating apps, and actually saw myself declining conversations from people where I’d normally crave the attention. A few weeks later and the apps were gone from my phone, and have I tried to download them again since? Not once…
I guess what I am trying to say is that I finally had the realisation that my life is pretty perfect at the moment, and theres no point ruining that by constantly looking for a guy. Things happen in there own time, and if you’re constantly sat searching for someone you are going to miss out on so much. Right now am so content making the most of everything thats happening around me, whether that be sitting with my best friend & having a gossip or exploring this amazing city. It took a long time, but finally realising this has had the best effect on me and it is making my life better in so many ways. Sitting and scrolling through apps looking for the perfect guy for hours is not what life is about, and I hope that I continue to think this way!
Disclamer: I am aware that dating apps work amazingly for so many people, and that is completely fine!! I personally used it in a negative way to fill a void, which was not good for me. I am just sharing my own personal experience just incase if there’s someone out there like me (if you are that person get in touch, I’d love to help if I can!).